Jessica Alba is a fucking moron.

Dear Jess,

Worried about your hotness overshadowing your talent, are we?
Then don't fucking agree with every photo shoot you do solely featuring you in a fucking bikini!
How fucking hard is that. Don't go complain to GQ about how you don't want to be seen just for your body all the while trying to seduce the camera half-undressed.
Really, I don't mind you looking hot, because honestly, I don't even think you're super-attractive anyways. There's like 347524857298 other people I'd like to see getting your beach press. But honestly, you're fucking stupid if you don't see the lameness in everything you've said in the past few years.
Go have public sex in the ocean again and maybe morph into Loveleigh or something.

Sincerely,
You're number four thousand fan